Stop killing trees, you Wi-Fi addicted bastards! Do you see what happens when you try to technologically advance yourselves? Very bad things! Evolve without the Internets! And leave the trees alone, for the love of all things holy! Sit somewhere else! You get one dead tree per holiday season, reams of dead trees for hard copy media sources, several stacks of lumber for home building and that is it, people.
Some research types in the Netherlands did a study to see if weird abnormalities in trees were caused by the radiation created by wireless LANs and mobile-phone networks. Here’s what the study found, according to PC World:
The study exposed 20 ash trees to various radiation sources for a period of three months. Trees placed closest to the Wi-Fi radio demonstrated a “lead-like shine” on their leaves that was caused by the dying of the upper and lower epidermis of the leaves. This would eventually result in the death of parts of the leaves.
The researchers urged that further studies were needed to confirm the current results and determine long-term effects of wireless radiation on trees.
Dang we’re self-destructive little animals. Us and the lemmings, of course. The cute and fuzzy guys just off themselves on instinct; we’ve got the humiliating combination of higher thought and lack of foresight to blame.
(innocent trees)
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